It’s March in Chicago. The time of year when our minds turn to thoughts of the Cari or other tropical destinations. And if you can sing and dance, cruise ships can provide a perfect escape. This is not a travel ad, but rather a look at how to get a theatre job aboard a floating hotel in the tropics.

Onboard entertainment mainly consists of Las Vegas-style revues, stand-up comedians, variety acts and cabaret singers. Rarely do they offer full productions, although some shows such as Grease and 42nd Street have made it afloat. According to Keith Cox, vice president of Entertainment and Passenger Programs for Norwegian Cruise Lines (NCL), audiences don’t want to see conventional theatre, "They want the 'top 40’ of musical theatre." The mindset of a cruise passenger rests outside by the pool. Entertainment, while an important aspect of every cruise, competes with sunshine and fruity drinks.

Norwegian Cruise Lines' Production Company

That competition revs up with newer ships that have theatres several decks deep seating 900-1000 people (by comparison to the Goodman mainstage, which seats 830). They come complete with the technical advances you find in all major theatres. "Technology is endless," says Christi Coachman, casting specialist for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines (RCCL). "We are constantly adding new elements–smart lighting, flying, even a matrix wall."

More sophisticated programming offers Cirque du Soleil-style acrobatics alongside top-flight entertainers. While cheesy medleys and saccharine cruise line theme songs continue to be a staple of onboard entertainment, fresh choreography and contemporary musical numbers help keep passengers’ and performers’ insulin in check.

Some lines partner with major Broadway producers, composers and choreographers to build shows. NCL has a contract with über-producer Cameron Macintosh and composer Andrew Lloyd Webber to be the exclusive presenter of their shows. Dancers in an upcoming Holland America Lines show will work with Tommy Tune and Patti Colombo.

Booking Your Ticket

It can be confusing, to the outsider, to contact the right person or company for an audition. Stiletto Entertainment and Jean Ann Ryan Productions are just two companies that produce entertainment for cruise ships. NCL, Disney and RCCL each have their own in-house production companies as well. Auditions are often advertised in Performink and Backstage, and below are some Web sites with audition information:

• jeanannryanproductions.com

• ncl.com

•royalcaribbeanproductions.com

•hollandamericaentertainment.com

•stilettoentertainment.com

•dcljobs.com (for Disney ships)

Those of you who are not singers or dancers may also escape the Chicago winter with your stand-up or variety act. Comedic actors and improvisers might also try a cruise staff position. These jobs are all about fun and making sure the passengers have a good time. You may be a character at a theme night party or host karaoke ("scaryoke," according to one cruise director). There are also many technical positions on board from TV production to lighting design. For these positions, contact the cruise line directly. They may even have relief positions open while someone is out for a week or two.

Sometimes the audition notice mentions a specific show aboard a specific ship. However, when you audition, you do so for the entire company. Placement on a specific ship is not guaranteed.

"Serious" actors might not be interested in any of these options, in which case, they will just have to weather the Chicago winter.

Sign Me Up

If and when you are offered a contract, read it carefully. Contracts generally last 6-8 months, which can be a long time to your average performer. Many cruise lines will require performers to also work as cruise staff (although not on RCCL). You may assist with arts & crafts, help run the bingo tournament or seed the dance floor during ’50s night.

Many lines pay monthly, and one pays in cash, which can be tricky to deposit in the bank. For United States citizens who work as resident entertainers on a ship, the company will likely take federal taxes out of your check for you.

The pay is not stellar and can be as low as $1,700 per month. However, you are fed and housed on the ship, so you have no rent, utilities, groceries or commuting expenses. "It’s a great way to save money," assures Chris Shafer, lead singer and production company manager aboard the Norwegian Sea, where they even have free laundry.

Rehearsals begin on land 3-6 weeks prior to your first performance on board. You will likely fly to the production company’s headquarters for rehearsals, then have a brief amount of time on the ship.

"People are afraid to leave town and miss their big break," notes Cox. "But with NCL, Macintosh and Webber attend the final rehearsals and actually sign off on each cast’s shows." Shafer adds, "There is truly a connection between land and the ship. You never know who you will work with or who will be in the audience."

Beyond the Sun and Sea–Practical Matters

As mentioned above, you may be required to work double duty on the ship. A lead singer may also be the company manager, dancers may have wardrobe duties, and many of you will be required to participate in poolside games and theme nights. Your most significant auxiliary position will be your role in case of an emergency. Shafer warns, "Expect a zero-tolerance policy on drug use and strict limits on alcohol consumption," which may be monitored via the ship’s computer.

You are considered crew and will live in cramped crew quarters. Think of the smallest "bedroom" in your Chicago apartment, divide it in half, add another person and you’ve got your living conditions. "The confinement of the ship is often a surprise," says Norwegian Sea hotel director Brian Walters. "Once they get to interact with each other and with the passengers, it gets easier."

Communication home can also be a challenge, although most ships now have internet access. Performers will find a cell phone with nationwide coverage and free long distance a necessity. While in port in the US you can catch up with family and friends and take care of business.

Although you can have mail forwarded to the ship, it is a good idea to ask if family or a trusted friend would pay bills while you are away. Bills may also be deducted automatically from your checking account.

Actors Equity Association does not have jurisdiction over cruise ships. (RCCL tried, but this relationship ultimately did not work.) Equity performers may suspend membership and reinstate at the conclusion of their contract.

Dive In

According to Coachman, "Ship life is a different life. You eat, sleep and work with these people." Idyllic to passengers for five days, but just like any other workplace to the crew for six months. Cliques, disagreements and burnout don’t stop at the shore, and it takes someone with adaptability and a sense of adventure to succeed. An open mind is your greatest asset.

On a cruise ship, the passenger’s enjoyment comes first, so this is not a job for someone easily frustrated by the general public. According to Warner, "It also helps if you are a comedian–someone open to silliness."

Finally, Walters recommends performers "choose the time carefully that you want to be away from home. You can be easily persuaded to stay here forever."